I want to define the goals that I aspire to achieve in Japan. For instance, I would like to make several native Japanese friends that I will potentially remain friends with even after my return back home, I would like to better my Japanese skills (a lot!), truly feel independent, indulge in the different culture. Most my life I have been shy and have not traveled much. As I have grown up, however, I regret not being more outgoing and using my free time to explore the world around me more. I am hoping that the study abroad experience will give me ample opportunity to utilize my time better to enjoy life. It also has not helped that I have been working part time since I was 17, I feel like having a work obligation outside of school took away my ability to truly relax and enjoy my education. When I go to Japan, though, I will not have a job and be able to focus on school and enjoying my free time; therefore, I hope that I properly recognize the time I have there and enjoy it as much as possible. Hence my desires to make new friends, improve my Japanese, invest myself in the culture, and try new things. I will have to be brave and break out of my shell a bit more than usual in order to make worthwhile friendships while abroad. This requirement goes hand-in-hand with my goal of improving Japanese as it will consequently get better the more I use it to communicate. I also want to dedicate myself more to my studies as well since Japanese will be the only subject I really will be taking which is another new way of life for me. Usually I take Japanese courses alongside computer science courses so my efforts are usually split (often times in favor of computer science). Living in the apartment will additionally help me reach my goal of feeling independent and able to look out for myself. I have lived with my parents all through my college career so I have yet to experience a true sense of independence, which I am excited but also nervous for. Additionally, by being outside the U.S., I would want to take full advantage of the opportunity to involve myself with the vastly different Japanese culture. That also means I will have to get out of my comfort zone, go explore it, and try lots of new things! I want to tell the future me that although this experience will bring many positive things to my life, I still have to work for them. It will not always be easy to live in a different country but I should not worry too much and really take advantage of the opportunity I have been given. I will be exposed to various new situations that I will not be the most comfortable in but that is perfectly fine – even beneficial that I experience these awkward and foreign events to expand my view of the world and enrich myself.

Finding a potential partner for an intimate relationship is hard enough when you are in your native culture. If attempting to find that special someone while within a different culture can prove to be even more of a challenge. Before delving into that topic, I will first explore the book’s scenario in which you are dancing with a man and it questions what forms of communication would indicate your interest in someone. In the scenario of being a foreign girl in Japan looking for a romantic interest – she would most likely have to be the one to initiate the engagement. Japanese men are said to be shy, especially around foreigners, so it is suggested to use strong eye contact, physical contact, and smiles to indicate that you are interested in someone. It seems awkward for a girl to initiate that type of relationship from an American perspective because it is typical for the man to be the aggressive one in the exchange. And what makes things more difficult is that the Japanese typically worry about how their actions will be perceived by the other person so Japanese men and women do not show many signs of emotion. Now to get into a bit of history and a cultural overview. Around 1960 Japan was still operating with arranged marriages and did not allow for a marriage (without parental permission) until the man was at least 30 years old and the woman being 25 years old. America never explicitly had large emphasis on arranged marriage. There is also said to be fear about dating and eventually marrying someone that is foreign due to the commitment to tradition.  In America, it is usually the case that a man asks out a woman and men are recognizably the initiators for any type of flirting. In Japan, it is not uncommon for the woman to be the one to ask the man out on a date. But there is a weird balance that women are still expected to take care of the man and family despite the situation that both the mother and father work demanding jobs. There is also a major standard of heterosexual relationships in Japan, while America is a bit more varied. In Japan, it is difficult for children to even come out to their parents and usually never do. In America, there is a much larger movement for more acceptance of same sex relationships and various sexuality; and the States is much more tolerable of the behavior. The acceptance of public displays of affection are also different in Japan and the U.S. Public displays of affection are not very common in either country but the United States is a bit more tolerable of it while, in Japan, there is little acceptance of it. Dating and eventual marriage in Japan is additionally a lot less common than in America. There is actually a current issue of diminishing birth rates because Japanese people are “too shy to reproduce”. The government has even taken steps to creating dating programs to avoid being the first race to die out because of this typical cautious dating atmosphere. All in all, dating seems to be a lot more difficult to accomplish in Japan as it is less common and a lot of Japanese are shy!

For this assignment I met with mentor, Megan, at the BoilerHouse Café on campus for a little over an hour. She was very excited to convey her experience in Japan, was very helpful, and very patient with the amount of questions I ended up asking. I felt like the experience was overall very helpful to prepare me for my study abroad experience in Japan as she went to the same University that I will be going to.

We initially began with the questions that the assignment explicitly lays out to ask. The first question concerned cultural expectations compared to cultural realities. We first discussed what common expectations are for Japanese culture – such as the amount of general respect that strangers give to each other, the cleanliness of the environment, overall feeling of safety in public, defined gender roles, the power hierarchy that exists between different members of society, and a few stereotypes. Overall, most of the information that I knew about Japanese culture – such as the high amount of respect that people give each other and the general humbleness of the Japanese people – lined up with the reality that Megan talked about. Specifically, she described that everyone she approached was very respectful, kind, and willing to help with almost anything she needed (whether it be directions or how to buy a train ticket). One of the stereotypes we discussed was the danger sexual offenders on the train; she explained, that a classmate actually had a problem with one. It was a little unsettling to know that such a stereotype was true but it was helpful to know that there is chance that trains may not be entirely safe. She also said, however, that most trains had separate cars for men and women during busy riding times to prevent this from happening. This is especially helpful to know so that I do not accidentally get on a dedicated male train car.

That led into the next assignment question, how Japanese culture differs from American culture. This conversation ensued for a considerable amount of time hence the abundant differences between these two cultures. Japan, for example, is a very collectivistic society where individualism is not idolized like it is in America. The conversation then turned into a discussion on how Japanese people are generally a lot humbler, quieter, and more respectful compared to Americans. Talking of public transportation again, on Japanese trains and buses, it is expected that riders remain silent to respect each other. That obviously is very different than public transportation in America where it is perfectly acceptable to talk to friends loudly or have phone conversations. She said, in general, that Japanese service is especially polite unlike America where it is pretty standard to have an employee act neutrally towards customers. Japanese employees are a lot more eager to serve customers and it is common practice to have people who welcome customers walking in at almost every store or shop. As for the similarities between the two cultures, however, the conversation was much more brief as there are not a lot of parallels between these two cultures. She did explain that smiling and laughing could be counted as a similarity between the two because whenever she spoke to natives they constantly smiled, laughed, and nodded during the duration of a conversation. This polite way to communicate is thus similar to America’s way of communicating as it shows attention and agreeable terms to have the conversation on.

The most important thing about Japanese culture she said to know was basically to know how to act in public areas. She explained that voice volume is very important as it can be unsettling to people you are talking to and people that around you if you are too loud. We agreed that this tip could coincide with just understanding the greater level of respect that is expected from the members of society. It is, we discussed, best to act as humble as possible and not obstruct the normal flow of things as best you can and the Japanese will act kindly towards you. She also mentioned that they were often intrigued by foreigners but she did not get too many direct chances to interact with native Japanese college students because she was too shy and ended up spending most her time with other exchange students. So, the most important cultural aspect thus was to be aware of the proper way to act in public spaces.

She said that nothing really surprised her about the culture once she arrived as what she already knew all lived up to reality. As previously stated, respectful and humble attitudes are standard there, and a foreigner will not have problems so long as they act accordingly. In regards as to how the Japanese view Americans, she said the normal stereotypes are present but they simultaneously seemed very interested in learning more about Western culture. She also acknowledged that a lot of aspects of Japanese pop culture are influenced by American culture. We discussed how it was interesting how katakana is part of their writing system to incorporate foreign words and how they are mostly derived of English words. Then we discussed the stereotypes that some natives talked about, such as Americans’ love for firearms and tendency to be overweight – two stereotypes that I feel hold some truth.

Megan participated in the same study abroad program that I will be next year so we talked a bit about the school and classes. She said that exchange students get tested via an entrance exam to determine the Japanese level that students are at. The scores on the tests places students accordingly to appropriate class and difficulty. As for the schedule, she said that the classes were much like North Central’s schedule that most of the week is dedicated to attending longer classes less days of the week. I was a little concerned about this so I asked if she believed that I would still be able to carry out my plans while attending the classes. She reassured me that it’s completely possible for me to go to my classes and do all that I want to do while abroad. She also mentioned a fact that I was unaware of, if you attend all your classes you get monthly financial assistance – which was great news for me. I also asked if the classes were difficult and she said it depends what level of class you get placed in, because as she explained before, you take an exam to place you in the appropriate leveled classes. Personally, she did not think that the classes were too demanding and she really enjoyed her time there. She additionally let me know that upon arrival, you get assigned a ‘buddy’ that you talk in Japanese with about an hour every week.

One thing that she said she wished she knew before she left was to pack deodorant as well as feminine hygiene products. She explained that both products are surprisingly difficult to find in Japan. As for cultural taboos, she did not really notice anything that would make or break an experience. The most important thing to know about Japanese culture, she said, was – again – is the level of respect that is expected from members of society.

As a reflection, I greatly value my experience interviewing my mentor. She was very helpful, answered all my questions thoroughly, and offered any further assistance if I needed. It is helpful to get firsthand information about the program, school, and what to expect in a foreign country.

The conversation was not all that surprising because I have learned a decent amount of information through my studies about their society and culture. There were smaller details that were helpful to learn, however, like the necessity of a train pass, brining feminine hygiene products, and knowing how the University’s schedule was like. It was additionally helpful to be advised not to bring a lot of luggage over because I will be expected to carry it all to my place of residence; which is important especially because some of the apartment buildings do not have elevators. She explained, as well, that when trying to send packages home you can only pay with cash which is the common practice in Japan therefore I should not rely on any credit card.

The mentor I spoke with did not show any signs about being uncomfortable when talking about any of the topics covered in the conversation except from when we were talking about sexual offenders. That, though, is a topic that would make anyone uncomfortable and does not directly correlate with Japanese culture. I feel that it is important to talk to someone that has experienced studying abroad before you go yourself so that you can learn from their mistakes and receive advice that would make the experience even better for yourself. Especially because it is still possible – and very likely – that one will still make mistakes while they are abroad despite all the advice and education that may receive. I am sure that I will pack everything that I think I will need abroad, but still manage to forget something that I realize would be helpful only when I am living there. I also realize that I will have to buy certain products once I get there which will possibly present challenges with Japanese not being my first language. I intend to read a lot more about traveler’s tips in Japan to get more into detail about day-to-day life in the country because I feel that more specific information will help me the most.

I am excited for this experience as it will be the first time going outside my country and to be exposed to a culture significantly different than mine will be extremely interesting. I realize that there will be obstacles to overcome and challenges to face but I believe, in the long run, it will all be worth it. I will learn how to manage myself more independently, be able to plan out activities, and learn how to be more flexible if something goes wrong. I will remember this experience for the rest of my life and prepare the best I can for it; I am eager to start planning my time in Japan in more detail to get the most out of my time as an exchange student. Despite the excitement I have to study abroad, it is important to also recognize that I may not be as comfortable abroad as I think I will be. As I also discussed this with my mentor, it is very likely that I may experience being homesick but she reassured me that I will be able to overcome it and still have a great time.

Talking with my mentor, Megan, I felt that I gained a lot of insight about the study abroad program I am doing and about traveling outside the country in general. The conversation was undoubtedly helpful and I will use the knowledge gained to better prepare myself for my studies at Kanda University in Japan.

For this activity, I went to the BoilerHouse cafe on North Central College’s campus. I observed about 6 to 8 people communicate within the cafe. First, I noticed the cashier and a man who looked like a business man or professor. He was wearing a nice sweater and a dress shirt underneath. The cashier greeted him casually without a lot of emotion and maintained eye contact throughout the conversation. There was no touching, not many gestures, and each individual waited until the other completely finished their sentence before responding. Overall the exchange, in my eyes, represented the typical relationship between American workers and customers. As much as companies stress the importance of the quality of customer service, most exchanges between a customer and worker are to-the-point and emotionally mundane. Next, I observed two girls that looked like college students as they appeared young and were wearing backpacks. Their conversation’s energy was almost the opposite of the one I had just observed. I will, however, start with the similarities: they also maintained constant eye contact and mostly waited until the other finished their sentences before responding. Now for the differences, between the two girls there was a lot more gesturing with hands to express emotions, some light touching on arms, the volume would fluctuate a lot more depending on their reactions, and there was a lot of agreement between them which amplified their exchange. They were almost always smiling or laughing – probably to maintain a positive relationship throughout the conversation. This situation I felt represented a generic exchange between two close friends and the mood was overall very energetic and lighthearted. The last exchange that I observed was between two people – probably college students as well – but did seemed to be acquaintances. Their volume was, unlike the two friends, was stable throughout their conversation and the energy was notably lower than the friends’ interaction. The eye contact between the two acquaintances was present but often trailed off to the sides, probably because both individuals were feeling a sense of discomfort because of their mutual unfamiliarity with each other. There were few gestures and no touching throughout their exchange. Taking the time to observe conversation exchanges between average people in my native society significantly demonstrated normal ways of communication that I am so accustomed to. Based on what I have heard about native Japanese conversations, there are several similarities with them and American exchanges. There is a maintenance of eye contact, smiling, and evidence of agreements through a lot of nodding gestures. The volume, however, is typically quieter in Japanese conversations than American ones. I will do a similar observational experiment while I am abroad to further understand the differences between American and Japanese native conversations. Conversations are something that occur so often that people become accustomed to how they typically ensue so much that they do not even recognize characteristics of them. It is even more interesting to recognize how typical communications, regardless of what language is being used, differ based on culture.